A call from AWAA

Well I just got off the phone with Aimee, the Asian coordinator at AWAA, with great news. I submitted our pre-application on Monday afternoon. This may seem like just a small step in the grand scheme of things, but to me nothing in this entire process is small. They were suppose to let me know something within three days, and I can be so inpatient. Then last night Brian informed me the agency had called and left a message on the phone. I almost tore down our bedroom door to get to the answering machine. I played the message 3 times before I could comprehend what she was saying. My heart was racing and I had so many emotions come up all at once. When I came back into the kitchen Brian asked me what was wrong, I guess he could see something was up in my eyes. I am known for showing my emotions through my face. I told him nothing, that I just had stuff on my mind. He never lets up until I tell him what's going on, but I just told him we would talk about it later. Then later came while we were giving the kids a bath. I told him I was worried and upset, because I didn't know what to do. I have to have a plan for everything you see, and if I don't have a plan I get stuck. I told him I just wanted God to come right out and tell me exactly what to do!!! I have faith, but I need direction. I don't like the thought of making the wrong decision, I can't handle the fact that I might mess up such a perfect plan he has for our family. Just saying that out loud makes tears roll down my face. When I prayed this morning I told him "I'm so scared, Lord I don't know what to do. Please, help me." I just have a overwhelming feeling of defeat. I'm not saying I'm giving up, I am just saying it's so hard. All night I thought about ways I could pull this off, I know I can, with God's help that is. Maybe this journey is meant to be more of a blessing to me than to anyone else involved. Wow! That's a thought. Then while I was on the phone with Aimee (AWAA) I felt like things were going to work out. I can do this, I am going to do this, I will not be defeated. I will prevail and just when I think I can't, God shows me that all things through him are possible. Aimee informed us that our application looked great!!!! Now if I can just continue to come up with the money!

Out with the old, in with the new.

Well over the weekend our fridge passed away. It never fails as soon as you pay off one appliance another one dies off. Our fridge was older than a dinosaur, and it had been on it's last limb for a while. I just hate to spend money, but I can't go without a fridge. So here is the new one, it's not the exact one we wanted, but it will do. We hope to re-do our entire kitchen in a few years and we wanted stainless steel appliances in it. So I just bought a nice, but cheaper fridge for the mean time.

Yes, I am still alive!!!

Sorry I haven't made a post in over a month things are busy around here. I am counting down the number of days left for school, and I hate to wish time bye, but I am looking forward to so many things coming this spring and summer. I will finish with classes this May (YEAH!!!!!!), and will be taking the summer off from school. Brian will be starting a wonderful new job in Somerset, which we are anxiously awaiting for. We both have been at our same jobs for almost 12 years and it's hard to leave a place you've invested so much time into, but we are thankful for his new job opportunity since it's so close to home. Almost 10 minutes away!! Big difference from a 3 1/2 hour commute each week. I have big plans on getting extremely organized around here this spring. I want to be ready for when I start back in school hopefully later this year. The last 2 years have been very trying and I don't want to spend another summer caught up with books, and class. I plan on spending everyday this summer having fun with our kids. Another big change coming this spring is the beginning of our adoption process. Although we have started getting stuff ready (paperwork, and fundraisers) we haven't really gotten started. This June, with some help from up above, we are submitting the first of our paper work. I look forward to keeping everyone updated throughout our process. Well it's time to return back to my homework, talk to you guys later.

Jennifer

"Show me the money!!!"

We have started the fundraising process for our adoption. I know that God will provide a way if it is his will, and I am certain it is his will for our family. But the flesh I am covered in is so scared. One of my resolutions this year was to finish reading my bible, so I have been devoting time every morning to read and reflect on God's word. It has been a cold drink of water for my thirsty soul. It's like I start reading and he answers my questions. Wow! How great is my God. Day one; I asked "I don't know how we will do it" and I read Mark 4:40 ..."why are ye so fearful? how is it that ye have no faith?" So I know I have faith now what? then I read Mark 9:23 "if thou canst believe, all things are possible to him that believeth." Day 2; I know it's God's will so will he help me? Matthew 21:22 "and all things, whatsoever ye shall ask in prayer, believing, ye shall receive." Day 3; Why am I so scared? Matthew 14:27 " But straightway Jesus spake unto them, saying, Be of good cheer, it is I; be not afraid." With everyday I read he answers my questions, and each day brings me reassurance that God is in control of things. That's when I'll grow, see if I never let him control my life, my life will never be control. I am ashamed to say that I am 32 years old and I am just now growing as a Christain. I want to do what he wants me to do, because when I do I'm the one that receives blessings. When people here my story of wanting to adopt I get mixed responses. Some say "what are you thinking?", "don't you two have enough kids already?", "whatever made you decide that?" and some say " It's so nice for you to take an orphan in" "I'm glad there are people like you to do that." and "Wow!, You are going to be such a blessing for that little girl." I have mixed emotions to all the responses I get. Sometimes I want to say " What a blessing that little girl will be in my life!" , "I am so lucky that I have a Heavenly Father that takes orphans in too!", and " We didn't decide this on our own, we just answered when God called." I don't want anyone who reads this to think I am saying that everyone should adopt, because it's not for everyone. However it is for Brian and I. I am still scared, and a little nervous when I think about the hoops we have to go through but I have faith that it will be ok. If God can feed 5,000 with 2 fish and 5 loaves of bread, he can help us with the money needed to bring her home. I have to have faith remember I have never flown on a plane ever, now I'm signing up for a 24 hour flight over many miles and lots of water. If that's what I have to do to get Hadlee home I will. I will close with this, if anyone reading this wants to help, just pray. We will be forever thankful!!!

Superbowl

My team lost, but that's ok we will win next year. Sometimes you need to let others win, so they don't feel so bad about having a stinky team (packers).

Better late than Never!!

Well although it is technically February last night we celebrated December and January Birthdays. We had Mom's delicious potato soup and grilled cheese, and of course cake and ice cream. Here is the B-day list; Haven 12/12, Jordan and Granny 12/18, Hunter 12/19, Hagan 01/04, and Kim #2 01/26. Now we are caught up. Happy Birthday you all!!!

Wordless Wednesday